"So, I'm sitting here thinking to myself :'Here we go again.... another lot of chaps who just want to wander all over the place.'
"Ever since I was knee-high to a piglet's eye I've been told how to behave and what I can and can't do. Her-who-must-be-obeyed is very strict on a chap minding his P's and Q's.
"Yet with these little guys Mum doesn't seem in the least concerned... just carries on eating as if there was nothing in the world to worry about.
"Come to think of it, she doesn't have to worry - it's not her who has to round them up from the bottom of the field or the top of the yard..... Don't think even Her-Who-must-be-Obeyed realises just how stressful it is keeping them all in order....There must be a better way....."
"So, 
let's see if I can have a little chat with them... nose to nose... (actually it's a bit too much 'in your face' with so many snouts at once) maybe we can agree a few ground rules.... after all, there's got to be some order around the place. I can't stay here all the time - more important things to do... Can't have this lot thinking they can do as they please, whenever they please ....
Let's see if I can't just get them to stand still and pay attention.....
"That
's better."
"Right you guys: Pay attention: Here's how it goes. You don't have to stay with your Mum all the time; I know what it's like to be young - got to have a bit of freedom - stretch your wings...
"What?"
"You don't have wings? (funny - always thought that was how you managed to fly around all over the place so quickly)"
"Stretch your legs then.. (little stubby things need all the stretching they can get - wouldn't be any good at all in a thick patch of brambles)
"But every now and then when I appear you've got to form an orderly line and come back here to your pen - all together - not all going in different directions and trying to fool me. I've learned my lessons. I can count, you know...... and I know left from right and back f
rom front and, if necessary, I can even fish you out of the pond....
"So can we have just a little co-operation..... please ... just so I can get a little peace and quiet and curl up and go to sleep in the sun from time to time....?"
"Just like that little guy over there....."
"Think about it, hey? We'll talk about it again tomorrow...."
let's see if I can have a little chat with them... nose to nose... (actually it's a bit too much 'in your face' with so many snouts at once) maybe we can agree a few ground rules.... after all, there's got to be some order around the place. I can't stay here all the time - more important things to do... Can't have this lot thinking they can do as they please, whenever they please ....Let's see if I can't just get them to stand still and pay attention.....
"That
's better.""Right you guys: Pay attention: Here's how it goes. You don't have to stay with your Mum all the time; I know what it's like to be young - got to have a bit of freedom - stretch your wings...
"What?"
"You don't have wings? (funny - always thought that was how you managed to fly around all over the place so quickly)"
"Stretch your legs then.. (little stubby things need all the stretching they can get - wouldn't be any good at all in a thick patch of brambles)
"But every now and then when I appear you've got to form an orderly line and come back here to your pen - all together - not all going in different directions and trying to fool me. I've learned my lessons. I can count, you know...... and I know left from right and back f
rom front and, if necessary, I can even fish you out of the pond...."So can we have just a little co-operation..... please ... just so I can get a little peace and quiet and curl up and go to sleep in the sun from time to time....?"
"Just like that little guy over there....."
"Think about it, hey? We'll talk about it again tomorrow...."
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