Can't a chap get a minute's peace round here?

"There I was just trying to have a bit of a doze on the kitchen sofa while The Boss and She who Must be Obeyed were having their dinner when up comes the pesky cat. All I was thinking about was my empty belly and what tasty morsels I'd find in my bowl when They were finished and all cat could talk about was how wonderful it might be if we went hunting outside together. Well I don't know what she calls hunting. Most of what she brings in is tiny stuff - OK I know, there is the odd small rabbit - hardly worthy of a Spaniel of the Real Working variety.Try telling her that though. The little thing she brought in tonight even bit SwMbO when I gave it to her. And that's not a good start. Won't do my prospects any good at all if She gets an infection from some pesky vermine. That'll be the end of  Real Hunting for us both.
"Speaking of which I overheard her telling The Boss just now that a large number of young pheasants on our beat round here got cut up by the farmer combining his wheat one night late last week. Now, that really would upset things. She said the Main Man (Gamekeeper that is) was more than just a little upset. And I've heard him when he's just a little upset. In fact, everybody hears him when he's a little bit upset. Not good for young ears, or even old ones come to that. Not a pretty sight either. Ooohh, quite makes me tremble to think about it.
"He yelled at me, through her you know- not directly, one early day last season. I was only trying to stop a young pheasant running out from a cover crop; the men were shooting partridge and this young bird was trying to run off instead of flying up like a proper one - more like it was wounded, so I thought I'd just go fetch it back. I was halfway to it when his voice boomed out and all but stopped me dead in my tracks. But I don't listen to anybody else. I gathered my senses and applied myself again. By the time She blew her whistle I all but had it in my mouth to take back to her. I quickly turned back to her but I could tell she was not best pleased. Difficult to know the right thing to do sometimes. I do try but occasionally she doesn't seem to be totally pleased. I've been practising over the past months - trying to be sharp on the whistle and finding all  the things she asks me to, and a few that she doesn't. Trouble is when a chap's out hunting and the blood's up and all the other dogs are running about and doing all sorts of things that I've never been asked to - well, some lessons just get forgotten or the wind makes the whistle hard to hear. And there are times when I know I'm right so I just have to go and do what I think.

"Anyway, I was trying to explain a few of these finer points of hunting to the Pesky Cat but you know what? She just scoffed. Said that sounded like there were a load of rules and there are no rules to the way she hunts and with that she said she was off to eat the dinner that was in her bowl. And that's another strange thing about Cat: she always has dinner in her bowl. Why is that? We real hunters only get to eat once a day.  Don't think I'll take up her suggestion if she mentions it again. I'm sure we'll be off on the Real Thing soon. It's always around this time of year - when the weather turns cool and the evenings seem so short. I'm sure we'll soon be going again. Maybe I'll have a little doze now Cat's going and dream of proper hunting....... and then it'll be dinner time.......zzzzz"