"Here I am having a mid-morning rest at work the day before yesterday; humans were all having a bit of a break and sipping some stuff which made some of them a bit wobbly. So I thought I'd have a little lie down in the sunshine. Jolly warm it was too. Thirsty work. It was the last day out before The Important Holiday and most of them, She who must be Etc included, were muttering about how much stuff they had to do before The Big Day. So, I ask you, just why did we finish work so late? Without stopping - and have lunch at the end of the day when it was nearly dark and my tummy was rumbling? Humans!
More funny things. This time last year everything was white and frosty - including my whiskers - and I kept finding hares under the snow everywhere. This year it's taken me all season so far to find just two hares and one rabbit. Well, that's not much to boast about is it? And out in the garden we've got all these things sprouting up through the ground, which is very confusing. I'm looking for pheasants and woodcock and stuff and She keeps muttering about daffodils and primroses.....
And, if that's not funny enough, we have that twinkly tree in the house again. Why do humans bring trees into the house. She spent ages putting twinkly things on it too. And there are parcels and stuff under it but I've sniffed 'em all and they don't seem very interesting. Not smelly enough if you ask me. But she's quite excited about it all so I suppose it must be important for some reason. 
All this talk about Christmas really doesn't ring any of my bells. But since She's excited I try and understand. Funny though. She said we'd give the little grunty things a special Christmas treat this morning. I don't think they know anything about Christmas. But She and Linda were concerned that the piglets weren't having a chance to get away from the Big Sow that is Delila. Seems they've spent so long tied to their mother's tummy buttons drinking milk that their own tummies have got too big to let them get away through the fence in the usual way. Bliss if you ask me. No piglets running around to worry about. And now it's so muddy in their pen that they really need to get out into the big wide world and learn about other things and meet the rest of the herd - not least the Big Bores with all their Curly Tails of Christmas Past and Future. So She cut a hole in the fence and, nosey little things that they are, it wasn't long before they were out and about and now it won't be long before I have my paws full again...... and I'm supposed to be having a few days off before we're back at work again next week...... some Christmas rest that's going to be. Here I am already keeping an eye on them at feeding time this evening..... my bones tell me it's going to be a busy few weeks ahead.
All this talk about Christmas really doesn't ring any of my bells. But since She's excited I try and understand. Funny though. She said we'd give the little grunty things a special Christmas treat this morning. I don't think they know anything about Christmas. But She and Linda were concerned that the piglets weren't having a chance to get away from the Big Sow that is Delila. Seems they've spent so long tied to their mother's tummy buttons drinking milk that their own tummies have got too big to let them get away through the fence in the usual way. Bliss if you ask me. No piglets running around to worry about. And now it's so muddy in their pen that they really need to get out into the big wide world and learn about other things and meet the rest of the herd - not least the Big Bores with all their Curly Tails of Christmas Past and Future. So She cut a hole in the fence and, nosey little things that they are, it wasn't long before they were out and about and now it won't be long before I have my paws full again...... and I'm supposed to be having a few days off before we're back at work again next week...... some Christmas rest that's going to be. Here I am already keeping an eye on them at feeding time this evening..... my bones tell me it's going to be a busy few weeks ahead.
Anyway, since I'm here and She's a bit busy doing things --- someone came to stay the other day and left what she called an unwanted gift - ---which means she's been making Hot Toddies all day and she's just made another one to take to bed ---- She's asked me to wish you all a Very Merry Christmas and to say that She hopes all your wishes come true and all your pressies are wanted ones....... and now I'm off to see where she put the mince pie for Santa Paws cos all this intellectual stuff makes a dog just a wee bit peckish....... Merry Christmas everybody...."
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