AKA Lightening

"I'm a proper working dog - as you can see. When it comes to that time of year there's nothing stops me - I'll work all the hours I'm asked, and a few more besides. It's not something I have to think about. It's just what I am and what I do. Over the past four seasons I've worked over 150 days. That's a lot of miles run and a lot of birds found and fetched.
But when the season ends, I rest. And wait - patiently.
I spend a lot of time dozing in my favourite chairs. Dreaming. The nearest thing to work that I do is keep an eye on all the little trotters; that takes a lot of concentration and effort but only in spurts - a few weeks at a time and then they're put in their place and it all goes quiet again.

"And then I can relax in one of my favourite places again. And dream.....
But this year after the Season ended She Who Must Be Obeyed decided we had to "do" something. Good for my brain she said? Hmph.
So, every Saturday afternoon when she's home (which thankfully - in the nicest possible way - is not every week) she takes me off to *training*.
Well, to be honest, I thought we'd done with that ages ago. Yeh, I know, she likes to keep me on my toes (and on her whistle) with a few things to find and lessons to do most days but that's all just fun and jolly easy compared with real stuff (though she likes to try and make it hard).
I had such a shock when we went first time and

I saw Him-the-trainer again. What? Him? Why? What have I done wrong? That's what I thought. And to make it worse, until today there's always a load of Labradors there and they're just not my favourite people. They're either boring or bolshy; either way, not fun or friendly. Apart from Amy. But she's an exception. Anyway, training with a bunch of labradors is not my idea of a fun Saturday afternoon. However, to please She Who Must be, I do all I'm asked or expected to - but since I can't really understand the point of it (after all, I've learned ALL my lessons)- I do it VERY slowly and carefully. I'm not an exhibitionist at the best of times so having to DO things in front of a crowd
is just so not my thing. It's a bit like being in a bad dream and I think if I go slowly enough I'll wake up and it'll all be over. Since I can do all the things the others are being trained to do, I do it but I do it in my very slow, careful and deliberate way. No need to rush. After each of us has done our bit we have to sit around for ages waiting for everyone else to do their bit and some of them are just so naughty or silly or dumb and take ages to get it right - it gets really boooring. But she insists it's good for me so I do it to keep her happy (which is my second job in life). And, actually, this afternoon we went to the lakeside and had a bit of a swim and there was a nice spaniel bitch there who we've not seen before and a very naughty young cocker ... so it wasn't quite so bad and I did perk up a bit.(Perhaps things are looking up?) Even so, I think it's a bit off when He-the-Trainer says  to her - "Ok send Lightening for that". After all, I woke from my best sleep to go there. Respect is not too much to ask is it? So even if things are looking up a bit, speeding up is not yet on the agenda. I'll do all she asks, I'll not let her down but I'm saving my energy for the Real Thing. Lightening indeed.